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Sixth grade: the first time I felt love in my bones.

And you didn’t even notice
When the sky turned blue
And you couldn’t tell the difference
Between me and you
And I nearly didn’t notice
The gentlest feeling

Tenth grade: the last time I loved selflessly.

Gray, quiet and tired and mean
Picking at a worried seam
I try to make you mad at me over the phone.
Red eyes and fire and signs
I’m taken by a nursery rhyme
I want to make a ray of sunshine and never leave home

Second year college: the Good Year.

Give me more loving from the very start
Piece me back together when I fall apart
Tell me things you never even tell your closest friends
Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
Best that I’ve had, I’m so glad I found you

After grad: the last time I harmed myself.

Everything that I said I’d do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept
Right through the dawn

Second job: when the world began to feel lighter.

I’m a little shy
But I know you know
I haven’t done this too much
Cause I did not know

So breathe my air, and kiss me there
Cause I’m a little cold
but I’ll warm up with you

Heart out my chest when you put it there
Yeah I’m a little cold
but I’ve warmed up with you

“The Isolation Journals” is a 30-day quarantine creativity project. It was created by the brilliant Suleika Jaouad for the challenging occasion that is COVID-19. A different journaling prompt lands in my inbox every day for the month of April, each one from a different writer, artist, musician or thinker.

In Jaouad’s own words, “The goal of this is not to write the next King Lear or to churn out publishable masterpieces. It’s an opportunity to pause, take a few moments to exhale and reflect, and to expand our creativity as a community during this extremely challenging time.”

Entries are written first in my offline journal and then backposted to the blog as the date it was composed. Read all series posts from the beginning.

Today’s prompt is from Pushcart-nominated essayist, editor and content strategist Hallie Goodman.

Apple Nocom

Apple is a witch, a writer, and a mental health advocate from the Philippines. She keeps a blog as a creative outlet and a self-care diary, so she writes about depression, self-improvement, art projects, spiritual practices and other things that help her cope.

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