Here’s a quote from Elizabeth Wurtzel’s Prozac Nation, which I’m told is aptly is about depression, which I’ve held to heart: “That is all I want in life: for this pain to seem purposeful.” I don’t know what she herself meant, but in my head I interchange “purposeful” with “useful,” has a meaning and result that adds up and makes sense.
An email landed softly in my Inbox on New Year’s Day. It read, “The following is an email from the past, composed on December 31, 2017. It is being delivered from the past through FutureMe.org.”
I know you believe that the hard work, sacrifices and full days will pay off. But you know the reward doesn’t include more time, don’t you? It won’t return the time you spent shelving things for later. It comes back in riches and growing old. Your wealth will add up; your time just gets shorter.
I. On resolutions When I was younger, new year resolutions were singular. Just one to start off the year, like “Exercise,” “Read every day,” or “Spend more time with friends.” They were habits that faded out into January such that the rest of the year had no resolve. As I aged and learned how much
Day one: In which we softly linger. This year lasted forever. I remember starting fresh and hopeful with two simple wishes: to get this boy to love me, and to be happy whether or not he did. In that regard, 2017 should have been a perfect success. But the year had better ideas for me.